BarbieBack Mountain

Back in the day, when I were a lad, girls were supposed to play with dolls, and boys were not. My dad once bought me an Action Man, but I didn't have much interest in soldiers. I liked Subbuteo.


The main game you got to play with Action Man was dressing him up in different clothes, which didn't strike me as an important part of war.

(Do you remember that scene in Kelly's Heroes where Clint Eastwood and Donald Sutherland argue about what shirts they should wear when they ambush the tank? No. Because it didn't fucking happen.)

Girls, of course, had Barbie, and Barbie had a boyfriend Ken.


Now, is it me, or does he look a bit... you know.. gay?

And then there was this fella. Who's he? Is he Barbie's new love interest? Is he there so girls can play "Barbie dumped Ken"?


This is Allen. If you look at the packaging, he's Ken's "buddy".

That's right, they even put it in inverted commas.

And all of Ken's clothes fit him.

I'm not sure I like where this is going....

Oh My God
is nothing sacred!