Tuesday, 24 June 2008

On Being Told I Was Mad


When I was ten years old, all the other children in my class decided I was mad.

Amazingly, I became the most popular boy in the school. I was more confident and outgoing, and for the first time in my life, I felt that I knew who I was. I had an identity.

I started to enjoy the music of Syd Barrett and Nick Drake. (I still do.) I started wearing a black tee-shirt, inside out.

I carried a copy of Bob Dylan's 'Tarantula' everywhere, and bought an old typewriter, so that I could type surrealist junk in uneven letters.

On the down side, my relationship with the psychotic alcoholic Scottish paedophile who was our form master in Year 10 was not as straightforward as it could have been.

I still have a lingering feeling that the word "mad" has some integrity to it. I think I want to step away from that. It's not too late to make a decent comeback album.

5 comments:

I, like the view, still said...

what exactly was is that you wished you'd known when you were younger?

Michelle Dawn said...

I think being mad does have some integrity because it's honest. In my opinion most people suffer varying degrees of madness but some hide it better than others -they lie about their madness. Truly mad people are often brutally honest. They can't lie to themselves like the rest of us and the truth drives them crazy.

Mel said...

Would it be presumptuous of me to mention that behind the mad that served you well is fear that cheats you, today?

Yup....that'd be danged presumptuous, huh...

Mel said...

<--going to the corner

Gordie said...

I think my answer to ILTV is also my answer to Mel... but it's hard work.

I never actually wanted to fit in in my family, I just wanted to make sure my mother was safe.