Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Nightmare By A Rocking Cradle

I am an underachiever.
I'm not being myself.
I'm not in my flow.

The darkness drops again;
But now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

W.B. Yates - The Second Coming

It's been a long time since I hated myself.
It's been a long time since I hated my life.
I may be vulnerable to depression
But I've stopped feeling sad;
I've stopped feeling afraid.

The family of demons that took up residence in me, and shaped my life and ensured I survived, have quit their lodgings, and I know they left the place untidy, but they won't be coming back.

Am I happy?

Yes... But

I'm living my days in a spirit of pure avoidance and distraction
I will not be myself.

I stubbornly refuse it.

This must be what got me through my childhood.

"I am going to be a hero. Just not today."

I fancy a big house
Some kids and a horse
I can not quite, but nearly
Guarantee a divorce
I think that I love you
I think that I do
So go on Mister,
Make Miss Me Mrs You

I love you, I love you, I love you ,
Honest I do
I only make jokes to distract myself
From the truth.

I fancy a fast car
A bag full of loot
I can nearly guarantee
you'll end up with the boot

I love you, I love you, I love you ,
Honest I do
I only make jokes to distract myself
From the truth.

Sia Furler

1 comment:

ghela said...

Can You Hear Them?

Can you hear them?
Their muffled voices disturb my sleep.

Can you see them?
Their shadowy figures, behind me they creep.

I feel their pressure on my chest.
It makes it hard to take a breath.

In their fist, they squeeze my heart.
It beats so fast, and then won’t start.

I turn around, but no one’s there.
I have to sit, try to breath, I only stare.

These demons are mine, but I wish they’d leave.
The meds that I take, for awhile, relieve.

Be anxious for nothing, thus saith the Lord.
That peace from above, I know can be poured.

But why doesn’t it happen? Why do I fear?
Can I help someone like me? Someone who’s near?

I know how you feel, your anguish, your shame.
I know there’s relief, Jesus Christ is his name.

My demon’s still here, he’s quiet for now.
I see Christ on the cross, I cling to that bough.

My grace is sufficient, to Paul I heard say.
Complete peace will be mine, in Heaven one day.

Until that day comes, I’ll be patient and not worry.
Can I help bring you, to God’s Gracious Glory?