Saturday, 16 August 2008

Top Ten Tips on Having Sex in a Taxi


1. Wear a skirt and no underwear. For this reason, we don't recommend attempting this act in the middle of winter--that's the last place you want frostbite.

2. Get in a bit of foreplay before you hail the cab so you're both raring to go when you get in: make out on a street corner, sit in the back row at the movies, exchange some dirty text messages...

3. You might be tempted to get so drunk that you have no idea whether or not the driver is watching, but we think this is bad manners. A drink or two to calm your nerves is one thing, but too much booze + motion sickness = not exactly your "Before I Die" fantasy sesh!

4. Oh, and he totally knows what you're up to, by the way. But isn't that kind of the point?

5. Unless you just decide to give each other a sneaky handjob, of course.

6. For something a little more, trying sitting on your boyfriend's lap, facing away from him. It's not exactly stealth sex--especially if you get caught at a red light--but at least no naughty bits will be on display.

7. If it's late at night and one of you is lying down across the seat resting your head in your partner's lap, this could be a nice segue into oral sex.

8. Don't expect a happy ending...this is more about the journey than the destination (both literally and figuratively). But even getting just a little busy in the back of a cab will provide you with fantasy fodder for years to come!

9. If you'd like a little more privacy (and a shot at that happy ending), then consider renting a limo with a privacy screen. Why not surprise your partner by picking up from the airport in one of these? It'd be just like prom night but without all the teen drama and bad hairdo's.

10. And most important of all: tip your driver!

11 comments:

MJ said...

Have you ever watched Taxicab Confessions?

The Dotterel said...

Thanks for the advice - but we can only get a minicab round here!

I, like the view said...

"dirty text messages" are foreplay?

I, like the view said...

(oh and I can vouch for the skirt but no underwear - g-strings don't count as underwear in my sartorial book - in the winter and frostbite advice)

Gordie said...

MJ: No, I haven't, I'll check it out sometime.

ILTV:I imagine foreplay is what ever you do to get you in the mood.

I, like the view said...

doesn't take much to get me in a mood

:-/

oh! you mean the mood*. . .

;-)

personally, I hoover, wash, dust and polish my text messages, so they are always clean and sparkling - never dirty

(*YIKES, now I got that dreadful tune going around in my head: BLAST)

I, like the view said...

oh, and as I found out when I was a naive and innocent 18-year-old in Manhattan. . .

. . .the best (and cheapest) way to have sex in a taxi is to get off with the cab-driver

I, like the view said...

(he was an impoverished law student, with a driving night job; I went to some of his lectures with him, at the time I wished I'd studied law; he knew all the best places to eat, and took me to the most sensual dining experience I have ever had - nothing has compared to it in 26 years)

I, like the view said...

(I'll go and write on my own blog now, shall I?)

XXX

Gordie said...

The vicar of my village was a big jazz fan, and he chose 'In The Mood' to be played at his funeral. He thought it was a very good expression of his relationship with God.

jamesbicon said...
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