Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts

Sunday, 14 March 2010

Alone With My Monsters

(picture posed by models)


Slow down: Don't fuck with my high
I want be left alone here with my monsters
And say: now it's time
To ride to see lonely girls
And to not put the moves on them

All them tremendous brunettes around
All them tremendous brunettes
All them tremendous brunettes around

Praise now the baby genius
She skips in the shade
Of the lonely sour apple tree
While she snaps on her gum
Her gleaming teeth bared
And the shine that she shows to me

Tremendous brunettes around
All them tremendous brunttes around
Tremendous brunettes around
All them tremendous brunttes around

All of your ill-gotten games
That you have wipped up to a rich, foamy lather, girl
Nameless gnaw off my pains
Like three hundred trumpets and just one is out of tune

All them tremendous brunettes around
All them tremendous brunettes
All them tremendous brunettes around
MIKE DOUGHTY

Spring Can Really Hang You Up the Most.


Once I was a sentimental thing,
Threw my heart away each spring;
Now a spring romance hasn't got a chance
Promised my first dance to winter;
All I've got to shows a splinter for my little fling!

Spring is here there's no mistaking
Robins building nests from coast to coast
My heart tries to sing
so they won't hear it breaking
Spring can really hang you up the most!

Mornings kiss wakes trees and flowers,
And to them I'd like to drink a toast;
I walk in the park just to kill lonely hours,
Spring can really hang you up the most.

Love came my way, I hope it would last;
We had our day, now that's all in the past!
Spring came along a season of song,
Full of sweet promise but something went wrong!

Doctors once prescribed a tonic,
Sulphur and molasses was the dose;
Didn't help a bit, my condition must be chronic,
Spring can really hang you up the most!

All alone, the party's over,
Old man winter was a gracious host;
But when you keep praying for snow to hide the clover
Spring can really hang you up the most!

Sung By: ELLA FITZGERALD

Saturday, 13 March 2010

Too Much Caffeine


Video on YouTube

Hangin' round
Downtown by myself
And I had too much time
To sit and think about myself

And then there she was
Like double cherry pie
Yeah there she was
Like disco superfly

I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting
Devious stares in my direction
Mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this surely is a dream

Hangin' round
Downtown by myself
And I had too much caffeine
And I was thinkin' 'bout myself

And then there she was
In platform double suede
Yeah there she was
Like disco lemonade

I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting
Devious stares in my direction
Mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this must be my dream.

Words and Music: JOHN WOZNIAK
Performed by: MARCY PLAYGROUND

Video on YouTube

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Seventeen

"They only want you
When you're seventeen:
When you're twenty-one,
You're no fun.
They take a polaroid and let you go
Say they'll let you know
So come on"

I apologise to any twenty-one year olds who read Hot Vimto, but Ladytron's "Seventeen" is one kick-ass tune. And it makes me feel happy, in a demented, teenage kind of way.

I know, I know... I'm living my life in the wrong order. But the Sex Pistols had a song called Seventeen, and it started like this:

"You're only twenty-nine
Got a lot to learn
But when your mummy dies
She will not return"
WTF that was meant to be about, I never knew. Sneering, probably. (Why wasn't it called "Twenty Nine"?) Still, the Pistols turned out to be the plastic fork, when what really mattered the chips and curry sauce.

When I was seventeen, my father had been dead six months, and I was starting to read philosophy. He'd been a long time dying, and now he was gone, I was ready to start looking for him. I discovered TS Eliot, and identified with Prufrock. I read Tarantula by Bob Dylan, and thought it was crap, and copied him anyway. I listened to a lot of Elvis Costello, the early albums, when he was dark and cynical and sexy and soulful. I listened to Astral Weeks, and Miles Davis. I lusted after older women. It was the right thing to do.

It is strange to think, that if I have children of my own, it'll be with someone who was born after punk. "No Future? Whatever happened to that?" I hear Steve Jones lives in California, and has his own radio show.

I've lived my life in the wrong order. It was the right thing to do. I've finished, so I'll start.

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

A Boy's Desires


I WANT to get out of here.

I
WANT to go to the moon or some other planet.

I
WANT to find some unicorn DNA and then grow a bunch of them and teach them to impale Claire’s friends with their horns.

from Dave Eggers' excellent short story, Max at Sea, in this week's New Yorker magazine.

I think unicorn DNA is the best revenge fantasy I've heard for a while!

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Eleven

I have a folder of music on my hard drive called "Play Once Then Kill" In it are all the MP3's I've downloaded and never listened to. How the hell did I miss this one? I downloaded it on the 25th August 2006 and it has been sitting there until this morning, confident and patiently waiting.

Black Box Recorder was the band that Luke Haines set up after he left The Auteurs, and The Auteurs pretty much defined my early-nineties sexual persona. But this song is like catching sight of your face in the bathroom mirror on a very cold winter's morning, and remembering what you were dreaming about.

If you don't like the song, fast forward the video and just watch the last ten seconds; it's a killer. It's a true story.



When boys are just eleven
They begin to grow in height
At a faster rate than they have done before
They develop curiosity
And start to fantasize
About the things they have
Never thought of doing before

These dreams are no more harmful than

The usual thoughts that boys have
Of becoming football stars or millionaires
As long as the distinction
Between fantasy and fiction remains
It's just a nature walk
It's just the facts of life
BLACK BOX RECORDER

Sunday, 29 March 2009

Weirdest. School. Reunion. Imaginable


This weekend I am in an emotional decompression chamber after a week spent helping two guys I was at school with sue the Catholic Church over allegations of child sex abuse.

I hope I'll be able to write about this at some point. In fact, I hope that I'm going to feel a lot freer to write and talk about a wide range of things, because of what we were able to achieve this week. But first, I have to let the news sink in.

We know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that it really happened. Not to me (I just got the standard institutional brutality, lucky me) but to people close to me.

Weirdest school reunion ever, and most muted celebrations imaginable.

In other news: guys who haven't seen me in twenty years tell me that nowadays, I look like Eddie Izzard, or Philip Seymour Hoffman. It could be worse, I suppose. I had better lose some weight, and learn to wear makeup.


Dream Brother

There is a child
Sleeping near his twin
The pictures go wild
In a rush of wind
That dark angel he is shuffling in
Watching over them
With his black feather wings unfurled

The love you lost
With her skin so fair
Is free with the wind
In her butterscotch hair
Her green eyes blew goodbyes
With her head in her hands
And your kiss on the lips of another
Dream Brother,
With your tears
Scattered round the world.

Don't be like the one who made me so old
Don't be like the one
Who left behind his name
'Cause they're waiting for you
Like I waited for mine
And nobody ever came...

I feel afraid
And I call your name
I love your voice
And your dance insane
I hear your words and I know your pain
Your head in your hands
And her kiss on the lips of another
Your eyes to the ground
and the world spinning round forever
Asleep in the sand
With the ocean washing over.

Written and Performed by
JEFF BUCKLEY

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

A Close Watch On The Trains

My parents' generation remembered The War. They still call it "The War" even though there have been a few more wars since. My Nana, when she was alive, said there was another war, before "The War", that she thought was even worse.

Anyway. I grew up in peacetime. I was very relieved that I wasn't going to have to join the army, unless I wanted to. I was, however, worried, that compared to my father, I was growing up soft. My father worried about this, too. (Let's be honest. I learned to worry from him. But because I was a child, I thought it was all my own idea, and, of course, all my fault. )


When I was a boy, I liked trains. Then later on, I liked girls. In my teens, I liked both together, and - things being the way they were - I especially liked the older, better looking ones that I couldn't catch. (The trains, that is. And the girls.)

Eventually, I went to university, where I fell in love with a woman who was older and madder and interesting and Eastern European and politically active. (And a self-harmer. Pity about that. ) So, I got to see lots of interesting films from the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe (and plenty of dull ones, too. Pity about that.)


Jiri Menzel's Ostre sledované vlaky was one of my favourites. It was made in Czechoslovakia during the mid-sixties period they called the Prague Spring, when people were confident and artistic, and reflective and critical about society and the possibilities for the world, in a positive way, until the Russian tanks arrived, and they all had to wait another twenty years before Václav Havel became President and met Lou Reed and Frank Zappa.

It's a film about trains and The War - I don't know what my father would have made of it - and a young man trying to lose his virginity.


Milos, the teenage protagonist, is an apprentice at a small railway station in provincial Bohemia, and the trains he is supposed to watch often contain Nazi troops and equipment being sent to the Eastern Front. The Nazis are, of course, the enemy, an occupying army, and in the film we follow young Milos as he learns, in different ways, what he has to do to be a man: how to survive under Nazi occupation, how he can resist it, how to be courageous and heroic, how men behave around women, and how to get the girl he wants.


Milos watches an older colleague as he flirts with and seduces a girl, and thinks he knows what sex is all about. But his dirty weekend with a beautiful train conductor doesn't go to plan, and in despair, Milos tries to kill himself. I can never forget the scene in the hospital, where Milos shows his bandaged slashed wrist to a visitor and says, with a straight face :
"The doctors say it's called premature ejaculation."
A Close Watch On The Trains is a comedy about being a man, being a hero, and being good enough. Milos' sexual awakening goes hand in hand with his political development.

Appropriately enough for a film set in Bohemia, orgasms are an act of freedom and defiance. Orgasms will defeat fascism, if we have enough of them.

We can imagine that Menzel's tale of resistance to the Nazis was also meant to encourage 1960's Czechs and Slovaks not to stand for any crap from Moscow. Certainly, the Russians banned the film after they invaded provided fraternal assistance in 1968.



My father was right about me being soft, compared to him. But his mother died when he was five, and he was raised by an alcoholic father for a few years, before he died, and left his sons to be raised by someone even more brutal. So my dad didn't have a lot of opportunities for softness in his life.

He made the most of the opportunities he had with me when I was little, but the older I grew, the more talkative and curious and energetic I became, the less he knew what to do. I guess my dad's life forced him to toughen up a lot sooner than he would have liked, and we both lost something on account of that.