Friday, 25 July 2008
Breakfast in America
Venue: Starbucks Coffee House
Location: Greenwich and Bank, Greenwich Village
Weather: Sunny, 85F, very humid.
Company: A businessman in a linen suit, 2 surgeons from St Vincents in their operating theatre greens, a Dash lookalike in a t-shirt that says “Dinosaur Barbeque”, sundry others.
Music: To Make You Feel My Love, Kelly Clarkson
Drink: Venti 3shot skinny latte
I no longer feel empty, numb, tense, or angry.
I am unsettled in my stomach (which used to feel rock solid and dense). I feel calm in my chest (which used to feel tight and constricted.)
I feel free to speak my mind.
I haven't got a lot to say.
I have nobody to fight. I don't want to fight. This is good.
I have nobody to love. This is not so good.
Sex and sexuality: I know who I am, and what I want. I don't want to do anything about that right now. I don't know why that is. Tick 'other'. Tick 'none of the above'.
I don't like my short-sighted eyes. My semi-blindness bothers me much more than it used to. I barely recognise this world, even though the only thing in it that's changed is me.