Breaking the Silence

As he slips through the side door
And sits at the back
People say
"He has no right
To do it this way.
Shouldn't there be trumpets
And drummers
And banners
Red carpets and fanfares today?"

But what breaks the silence
Is mumbling
And coughing
And stumbling and finding a place.
The place to begin
My attempt to explain
Some things that I never
Intended to say.

Like:
Love wasn't something
I always believed in
And sex wasn't something
I always enjoyed
And dreams were like diamonds
More readily found
In the bit of a drill
Than the rim of a crown.


They tell me I'm happy
And damn it, I know that I am
That was the idea all along.
And I wouldn't complain
But it's hard to describe
A world in which so many
Big things go right.

Because finding the place
Where you're ready to start
Is the last thing you learn
As it all falls apart
It's the tearing away
Breaking down, letting go
All the things that I never
Intended to know.

When
Love wasn't something
I always believed in
And sex wasn't something
I always enjoyed.
And dreams were like diamonds
More readily found
In the bit of a drill
Than a fair lady's hand.

But what breaks the silence
Is not even words.
What breaks the silence
is
not
even
words.