Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Inspirational Joker Pussy


My thesis has turned me into a menace to society.

I'm searching for inspiration. Writing the methodology chapter of my PhD thesis, which feels as dry as dust, and I don't want it to be, because it's an interesting topic, it's just that the conventions of academic writing mean I'm not allowed to perform it like stand up comedy, or perform it like a dialogue.

I don't even know if I'm allowed to say the word "I". So meh and fiddlesticks. A decision was taken to explore, yada yada

I am going to sink into a deep bath of warm, bubbly water, and play Jeff Buckley very loudly. Fuck you, world of dust-covered library shelves. I shall be interesting!

Monday, 18 May 2009

Shining Greatly


This morning I asked the I Ching for advice.

This is what it told me:
This is a time of gain, profit and expansion. Have a place to go. Enter the stream of life with a purpose, or embark on a significant enterprise. The source above has descended, and its Tao is shining greatly.

God, revising for his exams in the garden by William Blake

(Also available in paperback)

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

History

Going back to the house at Sandygate Lane.
In search of demons and strangeness and truths.


"Ce ne'st pas l'histoire qui se repete, c'est la geography qui ne bouge pas"
It's not history that repeats itself, it's geography that won't move.
(Graffiti, Geneva, 1982)

"Celui qui ne bouge pas ne sent pas ses chaînes"
He who doesn't move, doesn't feel his chains.
(Rosa Luxembourg)


Fourth post of the day. As you can tell, I am distracted.

I'm writing. For work. Serious stuff. Going Aaaargh! And reflecting on my nature.

Am I the same person I was when I was thirteen?

Yes... and no. I am his heir.

His executor. I get to unlock the treasure chest of everything that young man put away. I get to play with it, use it, bring it out into the light, fulfil his dreams.

Fulfil his dreams?

I get to decide which of his dreams were worth anything. For I hold the key to his dreams.

That's a responsible job, isn't it?

Saturday, 13 September 2008

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour

This song is soooo retro I feel like I'm fourteen again. ("Here comes Johnny Yen again"). The band are rehearsing in a room that's got an old Wurlitzer organ and some naff furniture in it, like it's a church hall or something.

The bass player looks like Paul Simonon from the Clash, and the guy whacking a tambourine has his jaw clamped shut so tight you know he's deeply pissed off that he's not doing the singer.



In the chorus, there's a synthesised string patch that sounds all slurred and reminds me of being on a dancefloor with some slightly dodgy chemicals beginning to mess my head up. This is a good thing, although strictly speaking, it's not a fourteen-years-old thing. Don't try this at home.

The singer is pretty hot by the way. She's complaining about how she's been dating a Bad Boy, and it's all gone wrong (typical). I think she sings "he leaves my soul on the floor like a dog". Why do hot girls actively seek out men who don't give a damn about the content of their souls? I still don't know.

The band are from Copenhagen. This is their first single. You can buy it in the UK from Monday. They have a MySpace. Check 'em out.

So, for three minutes and forty seconds, I am fourteen again. Only this time, I have a driving licence, and I can get served in pubs.

Bring. It. On.


"Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music
to get into girls’ pants:
use it to get into their heads. "

SCROOBIUS PIP

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

A Song From Under The Floorboards


The newcomer arrives
Possession and guilt in his face
Apologises to the customs man
For the gaping hole in his suitcase



I'd like to write about my vulnerability.
I'd like to write about my fear of being seen.
I'd like to write about my fear of writing.

I'd like to write about my great big head
Filled with ideas and dreams.
I'd like to be able to write
Instead of just making the paper dirty.

That old big head that protected me
That old big intellectual, exam-passing head
That old big rude-dreaming, song-writing head
That old big head that protected me so well
I used to wish I could live without it.

That old big broadband website head
Where I uploaded everything I was afraid of losing
Afraid of loving
Afraid of using.

feeling messy complicated flesh world

It's time to get the CDs out
It's time to go to the record store
It's time to borrow somebody else's voice

I am angry I am ill and I'm as ugly as sin

My irritability keeps me alive and kicking
I know the meaning of life, it doesn't help me a bit
I know beauty and I know a good thing when I see it.


This is a song from under the floorboards
This is a song from where the wall is cracked
By force of habit, I am an insect
I have to confess I'm proud as hell of that fact


I'd like to write about my vulnerability.
I'd like to write about my fear of being seen.
I'd like to write about my fear of writing.
I'd like to write about my fear of being me.

I just want to be touched again.
not poked or messaged or emailed.


I used to make phantoms I could later chase
images of all that could be desired
then I got tired of counting all of these blessings
and then I just got tired


I just want to be touched again

I've known the eeriest wounds
the soul's long quarantine

and I still turn to love
I want to burn again

I just want to be touched again.
I have to confess I'm proud as hell of that fact.

(with thanks and respect to HD & TH, the original authors)

Sunday, 13 July 2008

The House In Sandy Gate Lane Pt. 2





I had a comment on yesterday's post (from the far from unobservant Z), because I described our house as modern, when it was built in the 1930's. This is worth exploring a little further.

The first house I lived in, Summer Hill, was built for my father on a plot of land he owned, in the 1950's. The second house, the curiously named Cobber's Hill probably dated fromthe mid sixties. So here I am, at thirteen, moving into a house that is older than either of the other homes i've lived in, and yet I call it 'modern'. What's that all about?

I used to collect stamps, and for some reason, I was particularly fascinated by a range of stamp called the King Edward VIII Definitives. Perhaps it was because they were rare and collectable - the King was only on the throne for eleven months - but I was also fascinated by the elegance of their design. They were designed by a man called Eric Gill. I also had a set of books called the New Temple Shakespeare, which was a pocket edition, with a separate book for each of the plays, the same size as Beatrix Potter's Peter books. Every book had an engraving by Eric Gill on the dust jacket, and more engravings inside, to illustrate the plays.

At some point, I matched the name of Eric Gill in Stanley Stamp's Gibbon Catalogue to the name on my Shakespeare books, and was interested enough to look him up in an encyclopedia one day in the local reference library. That, gentle reader, is how I became fascinated by the art and design of the 1930's, and also began to get a wee bit pretentious, and use the word 'modern' in a different context, besides just meaning the most up-to-date.



I was too young to be interested Shakespeare at that age. My parents had just decided to leave a set of his plays in my bedroom, like Desert Island Discs, in the hope that somehow I would find them, and start to become cultured and intelligent.

They did this with another book, too. A sex education manual. That one, I did read, and not just study the pictures. Since it was a book for parents, not children, it wasn't entirely informative. But I did learn that parents can be very confused and embarrassed about sex, and I resolved not to trouble mine any further.

I remember soaking stamps off envelopes in the washbasin in the downstairs bathroom in the house in Sandygate Lane. It was an avocado bathroom, which had apparently very fashionable at some point. My parents had gone out for the evening, and I cleaned up the basin and put the stamps somewhere to dry out, and I sat down to watch - heaven only knows how I come to remember this - The Thomas Crown Affair, which was being repeated on television that night.

It was the Steve McQueen original, not the Pierce Brosnan remake. I remember being quite interested in Faye Dunaway, and fascinated by the split screen photography, but mostly, it was the song about the windmills that stayed with me.

(I know I'm still avoiding writing about Wimbledon, and my raging fever, and the pond at the bottom of the garden. Bear with me, I'll get around to it.)

Friday, 13 June 2008

Politics



I want to go to bed with these people. At the same time.

(I'm also really pleased about David Davis forcing a by-election on the question of civil liberties, but I don't want to sleep with him.)

Monday, 28 April 2008

Debbie Lives!



The beautiful and talented Miss Deborah Harry is alive and well and has a new single. And she's still sexy, thirty years on.

If you have daughters, bring them up to be like Debbie.

Monday, 21 April 2008

Your Freedom is History

A very interesting report of some research from the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences in Leipzig, in collaboration with the Charité University Hospital and the Bernstein Center for Computational Neuroscience in Berlin.

The researchers used a brain scanner to investigate what happens in the human brain just before a decision is made. Apparently, our brain makes a decision up to seven seconds before we become aware of it.

Participants in an experiment were asked to choose whether to push a button with their left hand or their right hand. They were allowed to decide well before they pushed the button, and were also asked to record at what point they felt they had made their decision.


In the seven seconds before Haynes' subjects chose to push a button, activity shifted in their frontopolar cortex (a brain region associated with high-level planning.) Soon afterwards, activity moved to the parietal cortex, a region of sensory integration.
Haynes' team monitored these shifting neural patterns using a functional MRI machine. Based on these brain patterns, the researchers were able consistently to predict which hand the subjects would use to push a button.

Taken together, the patterns consistently predicted whether test subjects eventually pushed a button with their left or right hand -- a choice that, to them, felt like the outcome of conscious deliberation.

So: does free will exist? I say, yes, it does. But our consciousness gets involved several seconds later. By the time we're aware of what we want to do, our brain and are body are already committed.



Sunday, 20 April 2008

Can you take a leap of faith?


What do you feel
When you let go of the wheel?
Can you take a leap of faith?
Will you face the change of pace?

There are worlds out there
Beyond compare
Going on a journey
Somewhere far out east
We'll find the time to show you
Wonders never cease


All that we’ve been through
Brings my soul so close to you
Why not cast your fears aside
We can laugh until we cry

There are worlds out there
Beyond compare

Going on a journey
Somewhere far out east
We’ll find the time to show you
Wonders never cease

Going on a journey
Somewhere far out east
We’ll find the time to show you
Wonders never cease

Morcheeba

Friday, 18 April 2008

I Want You To Want Me

Thought for the Day

Take responsibility, ask for help, let people love you, fuck 'em if they don't.

Monday, 7 April 2008

No Inspiration


ROB
You couldn’t be. Look, Barry. There’s going to be people from Laura’s work there, people who own dogs and babies and Tina Turner albums. How are you going to cope with them?

BARRY
We’re not called Barrytown anymore, by the by. They got sick of the Barry/Barrytown thing. We’re called SDM. Sonic Death Monkey.

ROB
Sonic Death Monkey.

BARRY
What do you think? Dick likes it.


ROB
Barry, you’re over thirty years old. You owe it to yourself and your friends and to your parents not to sing in a group called Sonic Death Monkey.

BARRY
I owe it to myself to go right to the edge, Rob, and this group does exactly that. Over the edge, in fact.


High Fidelity (2000)