John Martyn 1948-2009

They're dropping like flies this winter.

John Martyn was a major part of adolescence for me, and he's dead at sixty. That's bad.

I had a girlfriend who was the same age as John Martyn, once over. (Older woman, sigh...)

Somebody in my family sold him a narrowboat.
(I hope he enjoyed it.)

He was a bad tempered c*** who drank too much. (Let that be a lesson.) He was also the first white man ever signed to Island records.

And this is the song I saw him sing on the Old Grey Whistle Test, long, long ago, before I'd ever had my heart broken, and I shall go to sleep tonight singing it softly, and have a little cry.

May you never lay your head down
Without a hand to hold.
May you never make your bed out in the cold.
May you never lose your temper
If you get hit in a barroom fight.
May you never lose your woman overnight.

Well, you're just like a great, strong sister to me,
And I know that your love is true,
And you hold no blade for to stab me in my back;
I know that there's some that do.

So please, won't you please,
Won't you bear it in mind:
Love is a lesson to learn in our time.
Please, won't you please, bear it in mind for me.

Well, you're just like a great, strong brother to me,
And I know that your love is true,
And you never talk dirty behind my back;
I know that there's some that do.

So please, won't you please,
Won't you bear it in mind:
Love is a lesson to learn in our time.
Please, won't you please, bear it in mind for me.

May you never lay your head down
Without a hand to hold.
May you never make your bed out in the cold.
May you never lose your temper
If you get hit in a barroom fight.
May you never lose your woman overnight.
May you never lose your woman overnight.

Davey Graham 1940 - 2008

I never knew who Davey Graham was until I was thirty, but I knew his greatest tune 'Anji' from childhood. Paul Simon plays a version of it on The Sounds Of Silence album.

YouTube is full of videos of amateur guitar players massacring Anji - it must be the Smoke On The Water of folk music. The best version I found is by Bert Jansch.

History

Going back to the house at Sandygate Lane.
In search of demons and strangeness and truths.

"Ce ne'st pas l'histoire qui se repete, c'est la geography qui ne bouge pas"
It's not history that repeats itself, it's geography that won't move.
(Graffiti, Geneva, 1982)

"Celui qui ne bouge pas ne sent pas ses chaînes"
He who doesn't move, doesn't feel his chains.
(Rosa Luxembourg)

Fourth post of the day. As you can tell, I am distracted.

I'm writing. For work. Serious stuff. Going Aaaargh! And reflecting on my nature.

Am I the same person I was when I was thirteen?

Yes... and no. I am his heir.

His executor. I get to unlock the treasure chest of everything that young man put away. I get to play with it, use it, bring it out into the light, fulfil his dreams.

Fulfil his dreams?

I get to decide which of his dreams were worth anything. For I hold the key to his dreams.

That's a responsible job, isn't it?

The Demon That Departed

Well, that little feller's been gone for over a month now, but I have to say this week I've been feeling strange. There are times I've been confident and full of energy. other times, I've felt like a fish out of water. This morning, I almost thought he'd come back.

I was awake at dawn. I was hungry. I could do anything I want, and I didn't want to do anything I could. Life feels strange because I don't have a head full of stuff to keep at bay. That's not what i'm used to. But three hours later, I still haven't eaten. I made a cup of tea, and drank only a couple of mouthfuls. No, the demon's gone. I'm alone. It's just me now.

I feel strong, and capable, and talented. I wish I didn't.

Departed

Something has changed about me.

I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but sometime during May, a demon that has lived inside me since the summer I turned thirteen, decided to move out.

I'm surprised. I'm glad.
I wonder what will happen now.

I'll let you know.