In My Flow, Part 2

I blogged a week or two ago (Gordie is Sluggish) about not being in my flow. I've started to think about this differently, and I can see that oftentimes, I am in my flow, but some important things aren't in it with me.

I often visualise things I'm doing spatially, and talk about what's close to hand, and what's blocked, behind something else.

Right now, the thing I'm being paid to do is that big thing at the back with holes in it.

I'm going to see if I can do things about changing that.

One hour later:

I'm my own worst enemy. I probably shouldn't be blogging about it either. What a twat.

Gordie is Sluggish

I have achieved moderate amounts of good work today. Moved furniture, thrown away crap, dealt with bits of administrivia, done laundry, and eaten an unprecedented number of Muller Fruit Corners.

But I am not In My Flow.

(Flow, according to a psychologist whose fascinating book I read, is an almost automatic, effortless, yet highly focused state of consciousness, in which you are fully immersed in what you are doing with a feeling of energized focus, fully involved in the process and the outcome.)

I have spent too little of my life in my flow.

Most often, I have gone through life as though something life-threatening was only inches in front of me, like poor Mr Slug here.

Wouldn't your life be ruled by fear, if you were a slug in a maze made of salt?

Things are changing. I took on the mission, a year or so ago, of writing myself a new life-story, and using this blog to put it out in the world. I know it's been episodic and pretty cryptic.

That's because I still feel like I'm looking through a kaleidoscope, that splits everything up and gives it back to me every which way.

I'm learning not to be overwhelmed.

I'm learning to be in the moment. I'm learning new ways of paying attention. I'm beginning to venture into the slipstream.