Self Portrait No 3

Self Portrait No 2

I am convinced, if I ever have a child, he or she will be like Stewie Griffin. For some reason, this makes me calmer and more optimistic about the future.

Microsoft Bug Fix KB951748

I'm not really managing to blog about the important things.

Quote from a friend: "Why don't you tell me what you're thinking or feeling? Why do you keep quoting song lyrics?" I know. It's a habit I picked up from my good buddy Armitage Shanks, on the Tokyo project. I hope I'm not turning into Nick Hornby.

Hastily scribbled in my note book... "Wedding. Baby. Wimbledon. Soft Spot. Raging Fever. Festival. Dukes of Norfolk (Hazzard?) Scratching. Terminal illness. Ally McBeal (Bygones), teenagers, MP3. Why is Nokia Content Copier bothering me?"

My computer has been behaving badly all week, and I've just discovered why. Microsoft released a security patch for Windows that stops my computer connecting to the Internet. Ooh, that makes me feel so safe! Not.

I restored a backup. And as soon as I connected to the web, it downloaded the patch again. Three times. Gah.

Yesterday, When I Was Mad

Darling, you were wonderful, you really were quite good
I enjoyed it, though, of course, no one understood
A word of what was going on, they didn't have a clue
They couldn't understand your sense of humour like I do

You're much too kind
I smiled with murder on my mind

Yesterday, when I was mad
And quite prepared to give up everything
Admitting, I don't believe
In anyone's sincerity, and that's what's really got to me

You have a certain quality, which really is unique
Expressionless, such irony, although your voice is weak
It doesn't really matter 'cause the music is so loud
Of course it's all on tape, but no one will find out

You hated me too
But not as much as I hated you

Yesterday, when I was mad
And quite prepared to give up everything
Admitting, I don't believe
In anyone's sincerity,
And that's what's really got to me

Then, when I was lonely
I thought again
And changed my mind

Then we posed for pictures with the competition winners
And argued about the hotel rooms, and where to go for dinner
And someone said: "It's fabulous you're still around today,
You've both made such a little go a very long way"

Yesterday, when I was mad
And quite prepared to give up everything
Admitting, I don't believe
In anyone's sincerity,
And that's what's really got to me

Yesterday, when I was mad
And quite prepared to give up everything
Admitting, I don't believe
In anyone's sincerity,
And that's what's really got to me

Then, when I was lonely
I thought again
And changed my mind
Pet Shop Boys

Becoming Whole

“Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole.”
Derek Walcott

Changes

I still don't know
What I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time
I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste
Was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I never caught a glimpse
Of how the others
Must see the faker
I'm much too fast
To take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Turn and face the strain
Ch-ch-changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
Turn and face the strain
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be
A different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time

I watch the ripples
Change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
And so the days
Float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware
Of what they're going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Where's your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time

Strange fascinations assailing me
Changes are taking
The pace I'm going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you're gonna get older

Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time

David Bowie

Thirteen

Won't you let me
Walk you home from school?
Won't you let me
Meet you at the pool?
Maybe Friday I can
Get tickets for the dance
And I'll take you

Won't you tell your dad
To get off my back?
Tell him what we said
about "Paint It Black"
Rock and roll is here to stay
Come inside now, it's OK
And I'll shake you
Oh, oh, oh

Won't you tell me
What you're thinking of?
Would you be an outlaw
For my love?
If it's so then let me know
If it's no then I can go
And I won't make you

Big Star