Happy Holidays

Gordie is spending Christmas with friends.

Merry Christmas Everybody

I'm going away for a few days. Have a good one, everybody.

Go! Move! Shift!

Born in the middle of the afternoon
On a horse drawn wagon on the old A5
The big twelve wheelers shook my bed
"You can't stop here" the policeman said
"You'd better get born in someplace else"

So, move along, get along,
Move along, get along
Go, move, shift

Born in the tattie hoking time
In a canvas tent near the tattie field
The farmer says "Your work's all done
It's time that you were moving on
You'd better get born in someplace else"

So, move along, get along,
Move along, get along
Go, move, shift

Born on a common near a building site
Where the ground is rutted with the trailor wheels
The local people said to me
"You lower the price of property
You'd better get born in someplace else"

So, move along, get along,
Move along, get along
Go, move, shift


Born at the back of a blackthorn hedge
When the white hoare frost lay all around
No eastern kings came bearing gifts
Instead the order came to shift
You'd better get born in someplace else

So, move along, get along,
Move along, get along
Go, move, shift

The winter sky was hung with stars
And one shone brighter than the rest
The wise men came so stern and strict
And brought the order to evict
You'd better get born in someplace else


So, move along, get along,
Move along, get along
Go, move, shift

Wagon, tent or trailor born
Last month, last year or in far off days
Born here or a thousand miles away
There's always men nearby who say
"You'd better get born in someplace else"

Words and Music by Tommy Makem
Performed by BOILED IN LEAD

The Discos of Christmas Past - No 3

1984

was one of the great Christmas party seasons. I spent much of it getting obliterated in a strange pub / club / Italian restaurant / knocking shop called Nonno's in Preston, an appropriately nihilistic name.

The original "Do They Know It's Christmas?" was number one (factual answer: Ethiopia is the second oldest Christian state in the world, after Armenia, so yes, I think they probably do) and elsewhere in the Top Ten Prince was threatening to party like it was 1999, Strawberry Switchblade were ripping off one of Sibelius' best riffs, and a (still heterosexual) George Michael was trilling

"Last Christmas,
I gave you my heart
And the very next day
You went off with that tart..."

But this was the tune that made me want to

• go out and buy a sampler,
• study Kandinsky and the Italian futurists,
• forgive Paul Morley his unreadable NME articles, and
• dance like a drunken idiot.

Close To The Edit
ART OF NOISE

It has one of my favourite basslines ever, naked men by the legendary Victorian photographer Eadweard Muybridge, and some line drawings that look like an influence on the young Homo Escapeons.

The Holidays Are Coming

"I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where they drink champagne
And it tastes just like Coca-Cola
C-o-l-a cola"

"The holidays are coming,
The holidays are coming,
Go into a bar and
Pick up a tranny..."

This holiday season, please
consume in moderation,
and enjoy responsibly.